"CHOKE MODE, SCHOOL, Uncategorized


Who?  Does not remember their 1st. day back at school?

Even though I did not like school! I went anyways. I did not know it at the time, it was the law.

My mom did not tell me why? I had to go. I just knew I had to or else!

I was not the smartest or dumbest kid either. It took a certain teacher to get my attention. Not many did!

When I was in middle school. My mom always made my lunches, cold cuts with margarine on them. Because my dad had this thing about condiments. That by the time it was lunch! It would go rancid.

In my day! I could get a bowl of soup for 25 cents, a pint of milk for a nickel.

In elementary! The best subject I majored in was “RECESS”. Homework? Nowhere to be found!

It was! The inconsistencies! Of the teachers, that made it very difficult for me to learn anything! Each one had their own way of doing things. It’s any wonder! Kids turn out the way they do!





























BUMMER!, BUSINESS, CRAP, Uncategorized


Mine was working at a print shop!

I started out, as a shipper. Then in the bindery, offset then back to shipping.

This company did not believe in layoffs! When business was slow. A few of us in shipping painted, while the others were put on four day work weeks.

When there was a recession in the 70’s? We did not get layoffs. Again we painted. The others came close to a three-day work week. But we did not!

I think that! some of the others. In some way, did not like me. I know my boss in shipping did n0t! Because I got in there by my mom working for the family who owned it!

This! Was a company that, you had to know someone to get in there. I did! But not the way others did!

It was in the early 80’s! That the family sold the company to their lawyer! “BAD MOVE IF EVER!”

When they did! Down goes the company!

The lawyer only knew one thing! And one thing only! “LAW!” Not printing!

Printing jobs! Were held back! Paper for the job! Could not come off the truck until the driver had a check in his hand! Holiday turkeys! Were not paid each year because of the lawyer. Even! The phones! Went dead! Because of it!

Towards the end! They had to lay off people. I was one of them. But I think it was just to get rid of me. He (my boss!) did.

It was a complete shock! To me. But I made it.

The feeling of losing your 1st. job. I felt lost. Then I got it together. It was hard but I did. At 1st. I thought it was the end of the world. But it was not.

On March 1986, the company folded.

I could not believe it! Lots of the “Old-timers”. Actually! Lived for that company. I found out, a lot of them. When the news came down. Most lived paycheck to paycheck. Died.

Over the years! I did many jobs. Those jobs were to see if I could do it.

I still find it amazing! How some lived for that company.

























In the 70’s song. Bluer than blue. It talks about being alone. YES! There are some things that are good, but not all things.

I like!

After about 37 years of living with a Narcissist! For a so-called wife? The conversion was hard at first, but in time I did get use to it. Sort of!

I can go when, where I want! Do what I want. Eat what I want and so on. Drink what I want/like, when I like, going for walks around the block.

No one monitoring me, no one telling me what to do, nagging me to death, kids venting at me with their mom cheering them on!

What don’t I like is!

Being all alone, no one to talk to, only TV, laptop, drinking lots of water, going to the bathroom one too many times!


























PAINTS,, TATTO(S), BODY PARTS,, Uncategorized


With all these young people. Wanting a tattoos & piercings!

Ever since the early 70’s. I started seeing earrings on guys.

It was common for men to get tattoos. It was a “right of passage” for men to wear one or more.

But! Then I have seen men and women get tattoos as well. I always said that: “If GOD wanted me to wear a tattoo!” He would have turned me into a billboard” “And if he wanted me to wear piercings?” “He would have turned me into a kiosk at a department store!”

I can remember as a kid. There was a temporary tattoo before there was a temporary tattoo. A bubble gum company came out with it. I think? For a nickel. You got a piece of bubble gum, on the inside wrapper, there was either this temp. tattoo 0of Bugs Bunny or Woody Woodpecker.

You would lick a place on your arm, slap the temp tattoo on it. Wait for about two mins. then remove the wrapper and there you are! Your very own (temp) tattoo!

This was in the early 60’s!

I think that if I ever got one! I would be bored! And then think about where can I get rid of it?

I mean! Just the thought of that thing! Staring at me all the time!




















With what I went through with the wife!

I have decided to be alone. Being married to a narcissist for  a wife. And what she purposely put me through! I think it’s best to be by myself. If I don’t want to go through what I did.

I have tried online dating via facebook. All! Dead ends! There are some who claim to be from the USA! But when they or I im them. Then! They say they are from mostly? Africa or parts thereof

Since I don’t go out and mingle. Because my wild and crazy days have come and gone. I have found myself more of a homebody. I prefer to stay at home. Watch TV, the internet, water, soda, beer/wine (If I’m lucky!), food, snack here! Snack there!

There were some women who were like the ex! But when I read an article about not going through what I did. That changed things for me. I began thinking about. My situation.

I have enough money to live on, the usual things. and a little left over. The area is not bad, I’m within walking distance of what I need/want, people here are not that bad where I live.

I feed squirrels, birds, chipmunk, watch them come around and eat or bury their nuts. Deer as well. But! They don’t eat the nuts.

As quiet of a life as I do! It’s not bad. It could be better! But then again! For now I prefer to be alone!
















IT’S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK! BUT! I MADE IT! 04.11.2016-04.16.2016

I went through one hell of a week!

Several months ag0. I tried “online dating”. Word of advice! “DON’T BOTHER’!

Both are from Nigeria. One claimed to be from the USA. But! As I went along. she was a b& r (Born & Raised) Nigerian.

It was simple and easy. But! In due time. It was not. She always claimed she needed money. The other the same.

The one asked me for my address, she did not tell me why. But! We “ALL” learn as we go along (or we hope we do?). She dumped polo’s, shoes on my doorstep. Why? Who knows. But! If you’re going to run a scam. The last thing you would do is? Send the other person clothes & shoes! What a waste! Of “Nigerian” money!

I called the police when she and her so-called lawyer was going to call the FBI on me. I called the police and tried to tell them about it. They said (in the long & short of it!) not to be concerned. I asked: “What about the polos & shoes?” They said : “Sell them and recoup your losses”. Keep in mind! I did not send her any money at all!

The next! Is the one who claimed to be from the USA. But! As we went along. She did let it be known that! She is a Nigerian. She knew way too much about Nigeria, to be from the USA.

She tried! To get me to open a checking account so she could deposit her loan from a Nigerian bank. Did not do it!


She also! Sent me a cashiers check and told me when I get it! To cash it! When the check came. I contacted the bank it came from (it was from a bank in the USA!). I was informed. It was fraudulent! I told her what I found out. She “Pissed” a BITCH about it! Normal response!

I blocked both of them.

Online dating is what most people think it is!

There have been many people! Who have been taken in by these people from Africa and! Other parts of the world.

There was one! All the way! From New Zealand!

There are people on facebook! The proclaim to be from the USA. But! Are not. I met one who claimed to live in NYC! Then she claimed to be from Canada. she said she was working in Virginia. Here’s the fun part!

Every other time she would try to spell “Virginia!” She would spell it “Vagina”.

After all this! I got out of the facebook groups!

I would rather be alone! Then go through what I went through!

Let this be a lesson to you!










Once I was happy!

But then! Things begin to settle in ,for me. After the split/break up of my (half) sister. then the dust began to set in ,and I found myself alone. Only my oldest son coming by two times a month. That was it.

Before then! The conversion from being with either the three stooges? Or the death squad?

And then! All Because of my wife! And our youngest “Gender bender” son. I got the boot. Guys/husband’s! How would you like it if? Your gf/wife! All because! You did not conform and comply with what she! Wanted? And she gave you the boot? This is what happened to me!

After having someone who does not care about anything/everything in the world but herself. Ignoring bills, not making sure her family is taken care of and then some. Putting herself and her family through absolute “HELL” because! That is the way she wants it.

Anyway! When I did get the boot! The conversion was very hard. But! I did make it. With the assistance of my “HALF” sister. She was there when I least expected it.

After the break up!

Things began to settle in. The feeling of rediscovered freedom as gone, the sense of feeling well slowly went away And other things.

Then! One night. I prayed the sinner’s prayer. And the Lord answered me.

Things are slowly changing for me.I’m so not lonely as much as I did before. But! Now and then! It comes and goes. TY! LORD!

Even with SSI. It still does not help at all.

Not being able to go places (not bars!) and do things. But then again! What is the difference?