$$$$$$$!!!!! MONEY MATTERS, ABOUT, ABUSE, Uncategorized

IN THE BEGINNING! BEING ALONE WAS GOOD! BUT!

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE KEPT TRACK OF MY POSTS! “THE LIFE AND TIME OF AN SEMI-BATCHELOR”.

YOU KNOW AT FIRST! IT WAS BEYOND GREAT! NOW! IT IS STARTING TO SINK IN. I THINK IT WAS BECAUSE! AFTER WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITH THEM. AND FOR THE EX AND OUR GENDERBENDING SON. BOTH OF THEM GAVE ME THE BOOT! AND FOUND A PLACE FOR ME TO LIVE.

BOTH OF WHICH I DON’T THINK SHE OR IT! HAD ANY REASON OR RIGHT (LEGALLY!) TO DO SO AT ALL. BUT! HERE I AM!

IN A WAY! THEY DID A COMBO OF A FAVOR AND A BLESSING IN ONE.

BUT NOW THE FEELING OF LONELINESS IS SETTING IN. OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT? NO ONE TO “BANG” THE WKND. BY!

I FIND MYSELF HAVING ONE-SIDED CONVERSATIONS WITH ME! HITTING THE INTERNET, WATCHING TV(WITH THE SOUND DOWN!). I DON’T REALLY LISTEN TO MUSIC BECAUSE THEY DON’T WRITE LIKE THEY USE TO!

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN! I FEEL LIKE CRYING FOR NO REASON AT ALL. WHEN I WAS SINGLE! I THOUGHT THAT BEING MARRIED. HAD TO BE BETTER THAN BEING SINGLE. AFTER THE BOOT? AT FIRST! IT WAS. NOW! NOT REALLY.

MY EX-OLDEST SISTER-IN-LAW! SAID ONE TIME:”SINGLE LIFE IS NOT THAT BAD IF YOU PLAN IT RIGHT!” WHEN HER GF’S FROM HIGH SCHOOL RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED! SHE FOUND HERSELF SLOWLY ALL ALONE. THEN! SHE GOT PREGNANT. THEN GOT MARRIED.

IS THIS WHAT SINGLE LIFE IS LIKE?

ALTHOUGH! I WOULD PREFER IT AT TIMES. BECAUSE! WITH WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITH MY SO-CALLED FRIEND.

I WOULD MUCH LIKE TO HAVE THE COMPANY OF A WOMAN ANYTIME!

NOW! I AM STILL BY MYSELF! ALONE! I HAVE GONE THE ROUTE OF ONLINE DATING. LOTS OF SCAMMERS, LIARS, ALL TALK! NO WALK AND THEN SOME.

THERE ARE SOME THAT “ALWAYS” SEEM PROMISING. BUT ALWAYS TURN OUT DUDS.

MOST FROM WHAT I CAN MAKER OUT ARE? NARSISST!  THEN ANYTHING WITH SUBSTANCE TO TALK ABOUT. NORMAL!

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY THINK THAT! THE WORD I KEEP USING “NARSISST/NARSISSUM” AS MY FAVORITE WORD. IT IS NOT! SIMPLY BECAUSE AFTER LIVING WITH A “FULL-BLOWN” NARSISST! YOU DO IN TIME. WHAT ARE YOU IF NOT? WHO YOU ARE MARRIED TO.

BEFORE I FOUND OUT WHO SHE IS? I USE TO CALL HER A “HYPOCRITE”. THEN I WAS CHECKING THE INTERNET. AND CAME ACROSS AN ARTICLE ON “HOW TO SPOT AN NARSISST!

THAT’S! WHEN I GOT TO KNOW! MY ENEMY THE WIFE! YES! I SAID “ENEMY!”

WHEN WE KNOW SOMEONE. DIRECTLY! OR INDIRECTLY! WE ALWAYS THINK? “S/HE MUST BE HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY!” “MUST BE A BIRTH DEFECT?” “ARGUMENT WITH BF/GF/SPOUSE?” THEN SOME!

WE “ALL!” HAVE NARSISSUM IN US! SOME! MORE! THAN OTHERS!

SHE WAS BEYOND OD’ING WITH IT!

WHEN SHE CHEATED ON ME THE 2ND. TIME! I ATTEMPTED TO END IT ALL! BUT! AS YOU CAN SEE! I’M STILL HERE!

THAT’S WHEN IT ALL WENT DOWNHILL! DID SHE TURN ME INTO A? “MINIMALIST!”.

THEN SHE TREATED ME LIKE? A PRISONER IN OUR OWN HOUSE. RESTRICTED ME AND DEPRIVED ME OF A LOT OF THINGS. IF I EVER NEEDED! WANTED ANYTHING? I ALMOST HAD TO BEG FOR IT. IF SHE SAID SHE WOULD NOT GET IT FOR ME? BECAUSE (AS SHE WOULD PUT IT!) “THAT WILL JACK UP YOUR BLOOD SUGAR!” OR “I’M NOT GETTING YOU THAT!” “THAT’S TOO EXPENCIVE!” IN 2 WEEKS! SHE WOULD BUY IT AND USE IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND THINK NOTHING OF IT!

IT WAS NOT UNTIL THE 35TH. YR. OF MARITAL DIS! BECAUSE OF HER MOUTH! I WARNED HER ABOUT HOW & WHEN & THE WORDS SHE USES TO LOAD IT WITH!

I SAID ONE TOO MANY TIMES: “IF YOU DON’T CONTROL THAT SEWER YOU CALL A MOUTH!” WE WILL HAVE OUR OWN ARMAGEDDON!” I EVEN TRIED TO RE-PHRASE IT. STILL! SHE REFUSED TO LISTEN TO HER HUSBAND!

ON 07 OF 2014! IT CAME TO A FINAL COUNTDOWN! SHE DID PUSH IT! SHE GOT WHAT SHE WAS “ALWAYS!” WAS LOOKING FOR! IT WENT “DOWN!” NOT BY CHOICE!

ANY!!!!! REAL, TRUE WOMAN KNOWS! SHE WILL NOT PUSH WITH HER MAN AT ALL! SIMPLY BECAUSE! THE REAL, TRUE WOMAN1 IS ALWAYS! ON THE LOOK OUT TO KEEP PEACE IN HER AND HER MAN’S AND HER FAMILIES LIFE!

WHILE ON THE OTHERHAND? WITH HER? SHE COULD NOT CARE  LESS!!! AS LONG AS SHE THINKS! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER? SO MUCH THE BETTER!

ONE-SIDED? I KNOW. BUT! THAT’S THE WAY THEY ARE!

I THINK THAT! PSCHYCOLOGY! SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN GRADE SCHOOL. SO WE KNOW! WHO OUR ENEMY IS AND WHO IS NOT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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