ABUSE, ADJUSTMENTS, ADULT, ALONE, BUMMER!, CHANGES, CRAP, DECLINE, HUSBAND,, MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE, CRIME, MURDER, DIVORCE,, NARCISSIST, PROBLEMS, RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIPS, SLAVEMASTER, Uncategorized, WAR, WARS,, WHY?, WIFE

WHAT DOES IT TAKE? TO GET OUT OF AN ABUSIVE NARSSISTIC RELATIONSHIP?

 

I spent over 40 years in one! The ex! Nearly had me thinking, believing. I could not survive/live without her. Somehow I knew I could. The one too many things! About abusive narcissists are! They sat one thing but mean the other. They abusively “LIE” to a point it’s like an addiction with then. They lie so perfection to a fault that! Other fellow narcissists do not that the people they meet, talk to are “carbon copies” of them as well. They will believe in what they tell them and think nothing of it!

I had a so-called friend (if? He can be called that!) is a narcissist as well. I told both of them. If they ever got together and hit it off! In time! They would go at each other’s throats! And try killing one another! That is how much both of them have in one another. Both of them laughed at it. Normal!

No matter how much narcissism they have. You cannot tell them they are. Because they think they do not have any of it. They may know the word. But! They do not know the ingredients of it.

As unfortunate things do happen. All those years! She antagonized, harassed, pressured me. To do something. At the same time! She knew that I would not lay a hand on her. Then! Came the time! I could not take it at all!!!!!!

She ran her mouth off one too many times. She got What she came looking and wanted! I had the absolute. No choice! I slapped her! It could have been much worse! Considering the abuse I encountered and taken from her. Even I know that.

That was the one! She found me a place to live. Oddly enough!

To this day! I still wonder why? Did she even bother to reconnect with me and get married? No love at all. She pretended to be in love with me. There was nothing! That can/could be called love at all.

All I could think is this. When she and I got back together. I had a job, money, car, investments.

Her! A box that she called her “hope chest. AKA? “Pisspot poor!” And she did not like it one bit!

It’s very hard for a woman who is in one. To get out of it. For me? She made it seem like it was. The conversion was hard! But! I made it!

That one question will always remain! Why? Do they do it?

 

 

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ABOUT, ABUSE, COMMUNICATION(S), CRAP, crazy,, DIVORCE, HOME, MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE, CRIME, MURDER, DIVORCE,, MONEY, NARCISSIST, PROBLEMS, RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIPS, RUN OFF AT THE MOUTH, SCAMMERS, Uncategorized

ABUSIVE NARCSSIST! AKA THE EX!

WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?

NARCISSIST 

 

At the start!

When I met her. IDNK! What narcissism was! I used to call her a “hypocrite” But I was wrong.

It was not until I came across a tweet on twitter from psych central called: 12 signs to spot a narcissist. I read it. And she has the every one of them! I spent from Friday through the weekend to Monday! Researching it.

The interesting thing(s) about them. Is that if say, tell, call them a narcissist! They will deny it! Or you are wrong!

The links! Have the basic information needed to spot them!

One of many things they love to do is!

LIE! The ex-lied so much! It was like an addiction! She told me that! Her dad taught his kids to lie. (Keep in mind! Her dad is from WVA coal mining country. Him and his brothers, friends burned down the one-room schoolhouse.And they all were left with a sixth-grade education! In those days you lived by your wits! So lying was important to exist!)

When I was married to her. She used my name & SSI to make out credit card applications.

She pretended to be in love with me. But! As some of you know. There is a difference between. Going through the motions and saying “I love you”! and actually feeling it! Knowing it! That person does!

The ex did more things wrong than right.

They will come up with so many excuses of why they should sit on their asses! And the husband and kids should do any/all the work around the house.

I found another article about abusive narcissists. That! Is what got me started on this.

The narcissists mind! Is “really” screwed up!

They think nothing! About what comes out of their mouth! I can only describe what comes out of her mouth as? “cosmic” The most outrageous things I ever heard!

There was one time when! The cover plate on the hot water tank was missing. I asked her “what happened to it?” She said: IDK! “perhaps! one of the cats removed it”! I said: You mean? “one of the cats somehow sharpened one of their claws as Philips screwdriver and removed it”? She said: “that’s right”!

Narcissists! Also think thy work harder on the job than you! They make more money than you! They think they are WAY! smarter than you!

Hint! Narcissists! Come much shorter than they think! In actuality! They are no smarter than the next person! But! You cannot tell them that! It would be like? Knocking them off their pedestal! Their self-esteem is way beyond fragile! They do not mind hurting you! But! Do not you hurt them!

They are “one-way” people. They think! Any & all things should go in one direction! They do not like/love themselves at all! Because they do not know how nor anything about it. More than likely! It’s because of the way their parents were raised. This is a fact when it comes to her. Narcissists also think there is nothing wrong with them! They think it the other way around!

I am right! And all the world is wrong! Is the one too many philosophies they have going against them.

They will not! Seek mental help for their problem at all!

In some ways! At times! I do feel so very sorry for her. For the way, she was raised by her father. He did tell me many times. He raised his kids the same way he was raised. Because! The way he was raised. To him, there was nothing wrong. Little does he or his “young’uns know!

 

 

 

 

 

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CHILD, MARRIAGE, Uncategorized

EVER WONDER? WHAT YOUR B/G/F’S, SPOUSE’S PLANS/MOTIVES ARE?

When I was married to her! I did not give it any thought at all! As time went on! IDNKY? She was the way she was. But! Over 40 7years later. Now I do.

When she was living at home with her brother & sisters! In the mid 60’s. Her new sister came into the world. But! She had the biblical cord around her neck. Therefore! she has c/p.

All of her parents’ attention dramatically shifted away from her and her siblings to the youngest.

She (the ex!) did not like that one bit! She decided. In order to get daddy’s attention! Go for what dad likes/loves? “Country music!” She made sure! She knew any & all the songs, artist’s, record label so on. That! Got his attention. Short lived!

This was at a time when! Mom & dad drank their “take home pay.

Then Someone invited them to church. They got religion! They no longer drank. they were not “Christians!” So! She needed to shift again. To learning the bible! She did!

That too! short lived.

Because her parents’ attention was still directed their c/p daughter.

The next thing she did was? Marry me!

Why? You ask? Simple! When she married me! We had 2 kids. That got her dad’s attention. again! Short lived! Because her brother & sister had kids of their own as well.

So! My services were no longer needed! The rest of my life was living hell!

 

KEEP IN MIND! FROM DAY 1! SHE DID NOT LOVE ME AT ALL

I MUST HAVE TO BEEN! THE ONLY GUY IN THE WHOLE WORLD! DURING THE TIME I WAS MARRIED TO HER. TO HAVE ANOTHER FORM OF LEGALIZED SEX WITH HER!

Even her parents! Were and are! No angels either! They spoiled their c/p daughter. They programmed her to be their “slave”. For her to do whatever they wanted her to do! Even if it means? Ratting out her brother & sisters! She would do it!

But! At Christmas time! They would “richly” reward her for her efforts.

The way? I was treated by her? there are pet owners! Who treat their pets way better than she treated me!

And! She felt justified in doing so!

All this time! She used me to ger her dad’s attention.

Ther are times when I feel so very sorry for her. for the way, she turned out. And not knowing until it was way too late!

What her parents were doing! They all knew! But! Because daddy wielded all the power as to controlling his kids.

They DARE! Not cross daddy!

When kids live in a “dysfunctional” family! They tend to grow up with narcissism! I will let you! Look up that 1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ADJUSTMENTS, ADULT, ALONE, BATCHLOR, DIVORCE, FREEDOM, LIVING, LOST ART, MARRIAGE, Uncategorized

HERE’S A PEEK INTO MY LIFE!

Ever since my one sister & I split!

I have slowly gotten my life back! But! I do thank her for being there for me. I do apologize! For the things, I said to still!!!!

My day begins with checking the email, news online, checking the bank rates for the highest rate available.

I had to find another bank because! Of a problem with at that time. The problem I had with it. And I did.

I found an online bank that offers “INTEREST” on checking accounts. No min. balances, no maintenance fees!

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From what I went through with the ex! I have to say that! I am getting into it!

My son comes over two times a month. Have lunch, watch GSN, talk does my laundry for me.

Most of the time! I watch tv, the net, go to bed!

The hard part about it is? Trying to forget about the past and move on! I think it’s because. I spent way!!!!!!!! Too long with them!

I am building my life once again. Without them! I held out hope for one too many years! with the ex.

I know! she is so very scared “SHITLESS” to get the divorce papers drawn up. Because of what she said & did to me!

NOW! I have to concentrate! On what I want! Instead of what I don’t want.

The women around here are not too bad at all! Diversity! Being what it is!

“ENJOY! YOUR “FREEDOM”! WHILE YOU CAN!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ADJUSTMENTS, ADULT, ALONE, BACHELOR, DIVORCE, ENJOYMENT, EXPRESSION, FREEDOM, MARRIAGE, MISTAKE, NARSISST, SEPERATION, TRANSGENDER, Uncategorized

THE LIFE & TIMES OF A SEMI-BATCHELOR “THE SEQUEL! “MAYBE?”

So far! I have! Fallen inside my apt.! Had a hip replaced on my right side, broken my right shoulder. Working on my 3rd. year here. Got rid of the bugs that I had when I moved in on my own.

STILL! Married to her! But not for long!

My oldest son. Is still coming over & doing my laundry and having lunch twice a month.

Her! “still!!!!!” the same!

Gender bender! Fmr. my daughter now! An “IT!” still listens to her mom! More the pity!

I find that I am getting hit up! By lovely young women! Y? IDK?

I just started buying new clothes for myself. And on my 3rd. cell phone (long story!).

On the splitz! With my other sister (another long story!).

I find myself going to  “Aldi’s a lot, GFS, Walmart.

On occasion! I do smoke my cigars! No cheapies (plastic holder that come with those “cheap” cigars that young people will buy just to look sophisticated!). or aromatic!

Drink whatever I want!

Buy! whatever I want!

 

When you’re single! You think:”Is this all there is?” Then! You get married! And you start to think:”you know?” “single life was not all that bad after all!” Then separation/divorce comes.

Then! When you’re on your own! YES! My rediscovered freedom is here!

There is no such thing as? “New found freedom!”

You did not lose it! It was there all along!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ABOUT, ABUSE, DELINQUENT, LOVE, LOVE, MARRIAGE, REPEAT, NO!, TIME,, MARRIAGE, Uncategorized

HOW? CAN A PERSON WHO HAS NOT BEEN LOVED? REALLY TRULY LOVE SOMEONE?

I was thinking about this. and to those of you who have read my saga of”THE LIFE & TIMES OF AN SEMI-BATCHELOR”. You know where I am coming from on this.

From what she told me. She said she was told to do this. Hug & kiss strangers ( as to who the people her mom & dad had over. aka WWVA way of showing & expressing love to the “other” person).

At the time. I did not think anything at all about it. But! As the marriage went on. I found little to no love at all with(in) her.

I’ve always believed that. When one is in love. You can feel it! Know it!

But what she wanted was, marriage (a way to get her out of her parent’s house!), kids and whatever she could get her hands on!

Those things! She did get her hands on! Either! fell apart, broke because she always bought thing so very cheap!

Just to save even more money! She always! Refused to pay bills in full, on time!

All that time! She went through the motions and no feeling at all.

I even tried to love her. But! she did was “suck it all up!”And nothing in return.

Working on my 3rd. yr. all by myself. It does give em some time to think about why this? Why that? And little to no answers.

She will always be an unsolved crime onto herself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ADJUSTMENTS, ADULT, ALONE, BACHELOR, FREEDOM, LIFE, LIVING, MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE, CRIME, MURDER, DIVORCE,, Uncategorized

SINGLE LIFE VS. MARRIED LIFE

When I was 17. I was single. and footloose & fancy free! But then as time went on. The people I hung around with, got married and faded away.

That left me with? “ME”. I went from night clubs to bars. Always thinking? What would being married life be like?

So I got married! BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!! Wrong person? YES! Marriage? NO!”

As those of you know. About being married to a narcissist Is like! Then something happened along the way! The separation. The boot! My own place.

It’s been 3 yrs. now. After being married! Single life is all that bad. It leaves little room for going out, dating. But after what I went through? It seems like I am in a timewarp. But in the meantime! While waiting for the grim reaper to come! And meeting someone. All I have is this! “TIME!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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